Pharmacists are still allowed to forgo doing their job of giving people their needed medication based on their religious or moral beliefs. After some thought, I compiled all of the reasons that pharmacists should never ever ever hand out Plan B to anyone.

Men
-Men can’t have babies, obviously.
-It’s harder to judge them.
-Men who buy Plan B are clearly courteous rapists.
-Men who buy Plan B have under aged sex slaves that they’re trying to keep on the down low.
-The only men who mess around with that baby stuff are gays, and we shouldn’t give them anything anyways.
-If you give them Plan B, they won’t use condoms.

Women over the age of 17
-She’s joined a sex cult and needs to keep it secret.
-She should try jumping backwards east 3x before sunrise first.
-Women love babies! All women want to have them.
-If a woman is given Plan B, she won’t need to report a rapist.
-If you jump up and down really fast, you can shake all that icky semen right out.
-To pick it up, she’ll have to leave the kitchen and put on shoes.
-She’s old enough to get married in most states, so there’s no need for contraception if she just ties the knot and settles down, am I right?
-Women don’t like sex, so why would that have it?

Women under the age of 17
-Everyone knows that Plan B gets rid of babies, and women under 17 are technically still children, so they’d ERASE themselves.
-You have to take two pills 12 hours apart. That sounds an awful lot like math, and girls can’t handle that shit.
-They’ll be so young and short that pharmacists won’t be able to see them below the counter.
-If a girl has money to buy Plan B, she stole it, and criminal activities shouldn’t be rewarded.
-If she has a baby now, she can get all her fuck ups out of the way and be a good mom to her other children.
-Instead of having sex, she should learn to bake her high school sweetie cookies.
-Taking Plan B will make kids think that drugs are cool.
-Peer pressure was made up by the liberal media.

You see? These bible thumping lunatics really do have your best interests at heart.

What other reasons should Plan B never be handed out?

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