I recently found an article claiming to know when and why women cheat in relationships. What could have been an insightful piece about poor communication, drifting apart, or avoidance ended up being a rambling, poorly worded manifesto of internet fueled misogyny.
Newsflash, women have other things going on in their lives besides rubbing your feet and listening to your COD kill stats. Instead of assuming the worse for having a life, these frantic bro-dudes need a healthy dose of reality in their relationships.
Number 10: She detaches herself from your family
“The less she immerses herself in your circles (which contain people who are painful reminders of her sins), the less mental anguish she’ll have to endure.”
Perhaps, or more likely, she doesn’t enjoy the company of your friends or family members. Maybe, just maybe, she might want to spend time with her own friends and family.
Number 9: She nags you incessantly
“… if she habitually begins to point out your every flaw, you may want to get to the bottom of what’s really going on because it’s one of our signs she’s cheating on you.”
It seems that “nagging” in this case is just code for “expresses her opinion too much.”
Number 8: She has a mysterious friend
“Whether it’s someone she claims is a coworker or an old friend from way back, she keeps this friendship under wraps and is hesitant to share any general details about him, much less introduce you.”
She might just be embarrassed by your douchey behavior. Or she may assume you won’t approve of her friendship and want her to end it. Sometimes, gentlebro, a cigar is just a cigar.
Number 7: She deflects simple questions
“If she gets defensive about disclosing information that she used to volunteer without hesitation, she may be hiding something or someone and it’s one of the surest signs she’s cheating on you.”
When questions become accusatory, repetitive, or just plain asinine, constantly answering them becomes exhausting and annoying. Pay more attention and ask less stupid questions.
Number 6: She shifts her priorities away form you
“Suddenly, there are no more implied Sunday dates at the movies or something always comes up on dance-lesson Thursday.”
This doesn’t sound like a priority shift, this sounds like boredom. This particular bro, who I doubt has ever taken a dance class, needs to spice up the routine.
Number 5: She puts more effort into looking sexy
“Just as you tried to impress each other at the beginning of your relationship, she’ll try to impress her new flame with a sudden urge to improve her style, change her makeup and alter her physical appearance for the new man in her life.”
God forbid she try to look nice for herself, become interested in a style or trend, or try to look nicer at work to increase chances of a promotion. Why don’t you try cleaning up a bit to match her efforts?
Number 4: She become autonomous
“Moreover, she does more things on her own and stops consulting you about future plans.”
Honey, please accompany me to my gynecologist appointment. Afterwards I wanted to meet my friends to go shopping and to watch bad TV. The evening was going to spent with a book. But let me run all that by you first so your masculinity isn’t threatened.
Number 3: She has no interest in sex with you
“…she may suddenly become bored by your performance and appear to be thinking about someone else when you do make love.”
So the correct response to a sex life that has become less than passionate is to troll the internet looking for reinforcement of your paranoid beliefs. It’s called a sex store. Visit, learn things, try things.
Number 2: She’s secretive about her schedule
“Disclosing her itinerary to you at the last minute and overlooking your plans in the process can mean many things, one of which isn’t that she’s forgetting, but rather leaving you out.”
I don’t tell my partner my every day movements, because with a full time job, they tend to be virtually the same. I also don’t demand to know his, because I’m not that empty.
Number 1: You become irrelevant
“In other words, she doesn’t place the same importance on what you think and what you do as she once did, especially on things that directly affect the relationship.”
Puppy love fades, my friend. It’s impossible to keep a relationship filled with fireworks going forever. She’s also probably well aware of what your interests and hobbies are and may not care about impressing you. Are you still involved in her love of collecting puppy pictures?
Could some of these signs be actual indicators of infidelity? Definitely. But they are also dismissive of relationship problems such as poor communication, feelings of being unappreciated, and lack of effort to keep a relationship interesting and engaging. Perhaps she’s not avoiding you, but avoiding the problems that have come up between you and her.